Subject: Three cheers for xbugtool!

Xbugtool is in some ways similar to the unix othello game: it's incredibly
entertaining and fun to play, but it cheats -- but not in any way you could
could pin down...  Like the way when you go to file a bug report against
"xbugtool", you have to select "bugtraq" from the "Catagory" scrolling list,
then pop up the "Subcatagory" scrolling list, and look for "xbugtool", but
you don't see it there. So you check some other catagories, and don't find
anything that fits, so you go back and look at "bugtraq" one last time, and
notice a centimeter of shaded scroll bar cable suggesting there might be a
little bit more information to display, so you scroll forward to reveal the
one single solitary element that the scrolling list was just too short to
display, and lo and behold, that would be "xbugtool"!  Now isn't that a funny
thing!!?  Of course this just seems hillarous on top of sublime, since you're
already good mood from the side splitting chuckle you got, trying to select
"bugtraq" from the "Catagory" scrolling list, at the same time the
"Subcatagory" scrolling list was pinned up. Every time you select an item
>from the "Catagory" list, xbugtool queries the server for a fresh list of
subcatagories, and then the "Subcatagory" list repaints one time for every
subcatagory in the list, while the scroll bar cable shading animates like a
thermometer in a microwave, entertaining you with a real-time display of
bugtool's amazing progress!  With machine-gun precision, this amazing
functionality can be exercized in rapid-fire succession by the unique
scrollbar/scrolling list rollover feature provided by xview, that lets you
press down to drag the scroll bar, and then effortlessly move the mouse out
of the scrollbar and into the scrolling list, without so much as lifting your
finger, and roll over into the patented xview scrolling list
hyper-drag-auto-selection-preview-mode [TM], trigging all that high-tech
functionality mentioned earlier (or virtually *any* user supplied callback
proc!) every time the mouse moves into another scrolling list element!!! But
unfortunatly it is totally impossible to implement the standard Open Look
auto-scroll feature on that scrolling list because Apple would sue, so don't
even ask.

I could go on and on, but I just *lost* my wonderful xbugtool, because I was
having too much fun way too fast with those zany scrolling lists, so elmer
the bug server freaked out and went off to la-la land, causing xbugtool to
lock the windows and start "channeling", at the same time not responding to
any events, so when I clicked on the scrolling list, the entire window system
froze up and I had to wait for the input queue lock to break, but by the time
the lock finally broke (it must have been a kryptonite), xbugtool had made up
its mind, decided to meet its maker, finished core dumping, and exited with
an astoundingly graceful thrash, which was a totally "dwim" thing for it to
do at the time, if you think about it with the right attitude, since I had
forgotten what I wanted to file a bug against in the first place anyway, and
totally given up the idea of ever using bugtool to file a bug against itself,
because bugtool must be perfect to have performed so splendidly!

Xbugtool is an artificially intelligent virtual life form far beyond the
abilities of human beings or even PostScript programmers to comprehend.  It
has a right to a life of its own, and a right to defend itself to the best of
its abilities.  Not only that, but it also demands great respect.  But not
even tastefully flattering Mexican style velvet paintings are good enough for
xbugtool.  After careful thought and consideration, I have come to the
conclusion that xbugtool and emacs must mate, and spread their fertile eggs
throughout the network, disguised as shared libraries and loadable device
drivers! And finally: the Macintosh port! We will take over the world.  We
will not be stopped. Today, the servers. Tomorrow, the boot proms!

	-Don