(declare-global random-seed)
(setq-default ramdom-seed (current-numeric-time))

(defun 
    (fill-bong
	(beginning-of-file)
	(if (error-occurred (search-forward "\n======\n"))
	    (message "Shit, man, I can't find the fucking bong ...")
	    (if (error-occurred (search-forward "#"))
		(message "Aww, yer all out, dude.")
		(progn 
		    (delete-previous-character) 
		    (if (error-occurred (search-reverse "[ ]"))
			(progn 
			     (insert-string "#")
			     (message "The bowl's full, dipshit."))
			(progn
			    (forward-character)
			    (delete-next-character)
			    (insert-string "#")
			    (message "It's all ready to toke up!"))))))
	(beginning-of-file)
	(sit-for 20)
	(novalue))

    (smoke-bong bong-base hash-base bubbles
      (save-excursion 
	(beginning-of-file)
	(if (error-occurred (search-forward "\n======\n"))
	    (message "Why don't you find the fucking bong?")
	    (progn 
		(previous-line)
		(previous-line)
		(setq bong-base (dot))
		(beginning-of-file)
		(if (error-occurred (search-forward "[#]"))
		    (message "There ain't nothin' to smoke!")
		    (progn 
			(backward-character)
			(backward-character)
			(setq hash-base (dot))
			(setq bubbles 0)
			(while (< (++ bubbles) 7)
			       (goto-character hash-base)
			       (delete-next-character)
			       (insert-string (one-of "@*+&="))
			       (goto-character bong-base)
			       (sit-for 1)
			       (bubble-bong " .:oO")
			       (bubble-bong " .:oO")
			       (bubble-bong "_.:oO")
			       (bubble-bong " (){}")
			       (bubble-bong " (){}")
			       (bubble-bong " (){}"))
			(goto-character hash-base)
			(delete-next-character)
			(insert-string "%")
			(goto-character bong-base)
			(sit-for 1)
			(bubble-bong " ")
			(bubble-bong " ")
			(bubble-bong "_")
			(bubble-bong " ")
			(bubble-bong " ")
			(bubble-bong " ")))))
	(sit-for 10)
	(novalue)))

    (one-of
	   (substr (arg 1) 
		   (+ (random (length (arg 1))) 1)
		   1))

    (random
	   (setq random-seed (bit& 32767 (+ random-seed
					    (current-numeric-time))))
	   (% random-seed (arg 1)))

    (bubble-bong
	(beginning-of-line)
	(search-forward "|")
	(delete-next-character)
	(delete-next-character)
	(insert-string (one-of (arg 1)))
	(insert-string (one-of (arg 1)))
	(previous-line)
	(sit-for 1)
	(novalue))
    
    (empty-bong
	(beginning-of-file)
	(if (discard-ashes)
	    (while (discard-ashes))
	    (message "It's already empty, jerk-off."))
	(novalue))
    
    (discard-ashes
	(if (error-occurred (re-search-forward "\\\[[^ ]\\\]"))
	    0
	    (progn
		(backward-character)
		(delete-previous-character)
		(insert-string " ")
		(sit-for 1)
		1)))
    
    (do-hit
	   (use-transient-window "bh" "-> Bong <-"
	       (beginning-of-file)
	       (fill-bong)
	       (smoke-bong)
	       (empty-bong)
	       (beginning-of-file)
	       (sit-for 0))
	   (novalue))
)